The other day I was at a family party, and I would suppose because of the advent of this space on the internet someone asked me “so, what are your goals?”
I had to laugh at myself – I was a little taken aback! What a personal question, don’t you think? And yet, here I am, the out-loud and proud goal-setter, without a strong answer.
I’m in afunny place with my goals at the moment. Most of the big goals I’m working on are still in the dream phase, which makes them hard to pin down and actually talk about as goals, you know?
Maybe you don’t. Which is why this post is here!
What in the heck IS a goal? What makes a thing you want to do go from being a dream and become a goal?
There’s not always a big difference, honestly! I feel like I have some pretty big goals in my life right now, goals that I’m dreaming of achieving! hahaha How is that for a non-committal answer?!
Seriously, though. Let’s break it down a little bit. What IS the difference?
Well, in my experience, dreams are things that I WISH for. Things that I want. Like, I dream of one day going on a cruise vacation with my family. I dream of breaking 30 mins for a 5km run. I dream of quitting my job and working for myself 100%of the time. I dream of being able to play the violin.
All DREAMS because…I don’t currently have action plans for any of these things.
My GOALS, however, usually look a little bit different from my dreams.
Recently I set a goal to get my family on ANY vacation, not specifically a cruise. So we worked together, worked our butts off, made plans, booked tickets, and we spent a fantastic 9 days away from home, soaking in the sun in Florida during one of their hottest weeks in February on record. GLORIOUS!
Last year I set a goal to be “better” at kickboxing – not a super tangible goal, but one I managed to attain nonetheless! I made a point of getting to classes regularly and went waaaaaay out of my comfort zone and started sparring regularly. You may recall I not only felt like I was achieving that goal, but I won an award in December proving I did it.
This coming Sunday I’ve been asked to perform a musical number at church. So I set a goal to, you know, not SUCK, and make time every single day to practice, at least a little, so when time comes I can not only get it done, but get it done WELL.
See? The stuff I’m DOING pushes me towards my goals. The stuff I THINK about doing, that I’m not actually doing, that stuff…is not goal stuff. That’s daydreaming. That can be a disastrous waste of time, honestly.
Like, I will never run 5km in 30 minutes again BECAUSE I DON’T RUN. My last run was maybe…11 months ago? I workout regularly, but I just…don’t run. i’m not interested in it. I don’t do it. WHY I wish I could run faster than the no-running that I do? Who knows. Maybe it’s one of those mere-mortal things where we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others even when we’re not meaning to. I know people who can run that far that fast, so obviously, I should be able to, too.
Insert giant eyeroll here.
Do you get it? Do you get the difference? I can talk until I’m blue in the face about my goals and the things I want to accomplish in life, but until i’m ACTUALLY doing something about it, it’s not a goal. It’s a wish. A dream. It’s moisture from your lungs evaporating into nothingness.
Of course, some of those wishes and dreams beget goals, so don’t TOTALLY discount them…. 😉
We’ll talk more about that next time.
I’ll tell you my main goal right now, though.
Right now my main goal is to go for an entire month without cheating on my meal plan. Without cheating on myself.
Which horrible cheating-cheaterness I have been allowing forEVER.
I have dreamt and wished of succeeding at this ever since my wee babe #2 was born.
5 years ago.
Face palm.
Whoops.
Finally. FINALLY I’m ready. Finally, I’m making progress. I’m not done a full month yet, and I’ll tell you more about it once it’s over, but I’m just finishing up day 14 with NO cheats, NO regrets, NO self-hatred tied into food choices… I am nearly mid-way through crushing this goal and I am SO excited to get it done and move onto the next!!
Do you understand the difference between a goal and a not-a-goal? Do you agree with me? Let me know what you think!!
Until next-time, goal-getters!