Just Stop

Do you ever scroll through your newsfeed and you just…can’t? Did someone on my friend’s list REALLY just post that? Does she REALLY think that? Is he REALLY that stupid??

Some of us take those opportunities to engage in heated threads, articulating our fury as our fingers fly across our smartphone keyboards throwing facts and experience in the face of the stupidity we are faced with. And some of us just keep scrolling. Until we rant to our people in person later, because…HOW COULD HE BE SO STUPID?!

You may have guessed, I had one of these moments the other day.

And the thing is, I wasn’t even PISSED immediately. I was a little perturbed, a little surprised, but I just kept scrolling and ignored the post.

But oddly, I couldn’t FORGET it. I didn’t engage it, I didn’t acknowledge it with a thumbs-up or a mad face or interact with it at all, but it haunted me.

Until I had to go back into Facebook and search for the name I remembered as having made the post.

And scrolled until I found the post.

And found the post.

And then SEETHED.

Here it is:

I’m curious to know your thoughts on this one, and comments are ALWAYS welcome, of course.

But here’s mine.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

THIS. THIS is the stigma. THIS is why we have hashtags like #BellLetsTalk and #endthestigma lighting up the internet once a year. This is what we’re fighting against.

Believe me, I get it. My dear friend has an invisible, chronic pain illness and SO many times in her hunt for a diagnosis she was told it’s basically all in her head, she’s making it up.

And mental illness…it’s LITERALLY all in your head.

But that doesn’t make it NOT REAL. That doesn’t make it something you can just decide to NOT BE anymore. I can’t DECIDE to fix a hole in my heart, or to make my pancreas start producing insulin. I can’t DECIDE to cure my cancer.

So you’d better believe I can’t just decide to go for a bloody walk in the woods and magically cure myself of depression forever and always.

In some cases, depression is a short-lived condition. It’s often referred to as being similar to the “common cold” of mental health, indicating, perhaps, that it’s normal for almost everyone to experience at one point in time or another AND that it’s relatively simple to combat. Colds may drag on for a few weeks, but they go away. Depression may drag on for a few months, but people get better.

In OTHER cases, though, depression is longer. Years. Sometimes, it’s FOREVER. Dysthymia, folks. PDD. Perpetual Depressive Disorder.  It’s a thing. It’s REAL. And it needs treatment.

Some of us are able (against the advice of medical professionals in my case which I DO NOT ADVISE, EVER!!!) with a lot of time and practice to manage our symptoms and to function relatively normal lives. But I have to tell you, it’s HARD. Every. Single. Day. I battle with myself. I have helps and things in place in my daily life that if I ignore, just for the day, I start falling back into the pit. The pit that will never NOT have me by the ankle, pulling me down with all its might.

…if I had stayed on my meds, as RECOMMENDED by people way smarter than me, well, probably the symptoms I experience that I CAN’T manage with goal setting and stringent organization would not be a constant plague in my life.

Some of us CANNOT do it at all. Period. It doesn’t matter what therapy you’re in, how organized you are, how much you exercise, how perfect your healthy eating habits are… you will NEVER be able to produce the hormones your brain NEEDS to function at a healthy emotional level. Just like a type 1 diabetic will NEVER magically not need SOME medicinal intervention, some of us will NEVER not need it for our heads.

Why is this even still a conversation? Why are people so blind to this fact? Why are you posting this garbage? Does it make you feel superior that your body is healthy?

The bitchy part of me can’t WAIT for you to get sick so I can throw shade at you for going to the doctor to save your life. Because how DARE you need help.

Seriously, folks. Can we please get over this? Just…end the stigma already. It shouldn’t have existed in the first place. Mental illness isn’t a decision. Antidepressants are not replaceable with nature. So just… just stop.